It's been 3 months since I posted an update on here. Here's what the Lewis family has been up to:
1. Waiting. Waiting for a referral that we have come to realize may never come. Our agency hasn't issued an infant girl referral since April. This has been mildly depressing to say the least. When new children are added to the waiting children's list their files are requested immediately by those of us who stalk the waiting children's list like hungry birds. I haven't been fast enough...
2. Traveling! We have traveled alot this summer! Darren and I went on a caribbean cruise in June and I went on an orphanage mission trip to Ecuador in July! Both trips were amazing!
3. Working. I started a wedding planning business over the summer. Thanks to my good friend, Kristy who asked me to plan her wedding, I have realized that this is something that I not only enjoy doing, but I can do mostly from home and still be with my kids. I'm hoping that Antebellum Aisles is blessed with lots of new business soon!
4. Praying. We've had alot of adoption thoughts to pray about. There are so many directions that we feel pulled in right now. The short answer is we just have not been sure what to do. Some people with our agency feel led by the Lord to wait out this slump with our agency and I commend them for following the Lord's leading in this. We have prayed and been willing and open to the same things, but feel that rather than calling us to wait for (what seriously could be like 2 years for a referral) that He has used these slow times to open our hearts to bigger possibilities. The more we've prayed the more we've felt sure about certain directions, but then...we felt sure about Ethiopia too. It leaves me wondering, "What is God doing right now?" I feel like I have a right to know since it does impact my life, but then I'm reminded that I really don't have a right to anything. I'm called to live by faith and not by sight. And I KNOW that on the other side I will see the great goodness I have trusted in.
5. Talking. I do alot of this. And we've been talking about Zambia...ALOT. My friend Andrea who most of you know from Wiphan ministries or the Created for Care retreat, has given us some awesome info regarding Zambian adoption. We would not be using an agency, which would cut alot of cost and paperwork, and Josie and I would have to stay for up to 3 months and foster Keira in the country. But hey, what's 3 months? That's just the amount of time between blog posts for me, right? I must say I'm very very excited about this possibility. This journey has been such a rollercoaster and I am praying so hard that this is what it was all leading to. As hard as it would be to be away from my friends and my husband and my church for up to 3 months, (And as much as Darren has reminded me that there are ginormous bugs in Africa:) I am SOOOO very excited about the possibility of NEVER having to leave my child once I meet her. We wouldn't have to see her picture and then wait several months to meet her and then wait several more months to go get her. I could see her face for the first time and have her with me until we come home! Also, I'm excited that I could get to know the people of Zambia and share the love of Christ through serving and ministry while I'm there. I know...there would be alot of hardships and unpredictable things to work though, but God doesn't always call us to easy, predictable service, does He? I know that this decision carries weight, and means sacrifice for alot of people, so would you pray with us as we decide what to do?
1. Waiting. Waiting for a referral that we have come to realize may never come. Our agency hasn't issued an infant girl referral since April. This has been mildly depressing to say the least. When new children are added to the waiting children's list their files are requested immediately by those of us who stalk the waiting children's list like hungry birds. I haven't been fast enough...
2. Traveling! We have traveled alot this summer! Darren and I went on a caribbean cruise in June and I went on an orphanage mission trip to Ecuador in July! Both trips were amazing!
3. Working. I started a wedding planning business over the summer. Thanks to my good friend, Kristy who asked me to plan her wedding, I have realized that this is something that I not only enjoy doing, but I can do mostly from home and still be with my kids. I'm hoping that Antebellum Aisles is blessed with lots of new business soon!
4. Praying. We've had alot of adoption thoughts to pray about. There are so many directions that we feel pulled in right now. The short answer is we just have not been sure what to do. Some people with our agency feel led by the Lord to wait out this slump with our agency and I commend them for following the Lord's leading in this. We have prayed and been willing and open to the same things, but feel that rather than calling us to wait for (what seriously could be like 2 years for a referral) that He has used these slow times to open our hearts to bigger possibilities. The more we've prayed the more we've felt sure about certain directions, but then...we felt sure about Ethiopia too. It leaves me wondering, "What is God doing right now?" I feel like I have a right to know since it does impact my life, but then I'm reminded that I really don't have a right to anything. I'm called to live by faith and not by sight. And I KNOW that on the other side I will see the great goodness I have trusted in.
5. Talking. I do alot of this. And we've been talking about Zambia...ALOT. My friend Andrea who most of you know from Wiphan ministries or the Created for Care retreat, has given us some awesome info regarding Zambian adoption. We would not be using an agency, which would cut alot of cost and paperwork, and Josie and I would have to stay for up to 3 months and foster Keira in the country. But hey, what's 3 months? That's just the amount of time between blog posts for me, right? I must say I'm very very excited about this possibility. This journey has been such a rollercoaster and I am praying so hard that this is what it was all leading to. As hard as it would be to be away from my friends and my husband and my church for up to 3 months, (And as much as Darren has reminded me that there are ginormous bugs in Africa:) I am SOOOO very excited about the possibility of NEVER having to leave my child once I meet her. We wouldn't have to see her picture and then wait several months to meet her and then wait several more months to go get her. I could see her face for the first time and have her with me until we come home! Also, I'm excited that I could get to know the people of Zambia and share the love of Christ through serving and ministry while I'm there. I know...there would be alot of hardships and unpredictable things to work though, but God doesn't always call us to easy, predictable service, does He? I know that this decision carries weight, and means sacrifice for alot of people, so would you pray with us as we decide what to do?
I'm under alot of mixed emotions right now. Every day carries with it immense joy, doubt, fear, excitement, love, and stress. So much is going on in our lives all at the same time and each thing demands a different feeling. I'm learning to trust the Lord more and to find my satisfaction in Him alone so that these emotions don't FEEL so uncontrollable. I'm ready to have all my children home and to be let off this rollercoaster for a while:)
Jacky, as you already know we are praying for you as you go through this huge decision making process. God will lead you where He wants you.
ReplyDeleteJacky - it seems that all along this journey - every stage is met with unknowns, fears, and yes, even joy. Having been in the race 2 years, let me say that I would NOT have gladly signed on or requested a two year wait when we said 'yes' to God. BUT, over two years, our faith has grown immensely. My trust in God. My leading my children to God. Seeing the miracles along the way, feeling His presence. I didn't want the long journey, and still don't LIKE it, but I needed it. Let Him lead you to where He wants you along the path and know that it's not about the child (as I have to keep reminding myself), it's about the journey. So whether to ET or somewhere else, I pray you are blessed throughout and God would use his neon signs to point you in the right direction.
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