...if you saw our spare bedroom right now! The bedroom is somewhere under all the stuff we are taking. We've already packed 2 bags and it brings me so much joy to look at them and think that in 3 weeks they will traveling to Zambia with me! So it's an understatement to say that we are excited.
God has provided so much guidance and reassurance in these past few weeks. Everything is coming together according to His Plan. Sometimes I really just feel like I'm along for the ride. We have felt so blessed to have a church family who is praying for us, asking how to help, donating clothes in all different sizes, handmaking bibs to take to the orphanage, and even a stranger from craigslist who GAVE us a double stroller! Seriously...our God is so amazing! And seeing His body work together in harmony as instruments of His will is just a really beautiful glimpse of heaven.
So...that's the excited beautiful giddy part of this post. The other side is that somewhere deep down, I'm just a little scared. Adoption is beautiful, but it's not easy. I know that there could be some really ugly times ahead of us as well. Constant legal uncertainty in Zambia. Not knowing when we're coming home. Not to mention...Who knows what these kids have been through? Who knows the physical and emotional pain they may be feeling? I want to think that having loving parents to call "mom and dad" could be enough, but I know from countless stories that this is not always the case. I'm praying every day that I will have the strength to be up to this task that we've been called to. To have the "die to self" kind of love that needs to be exhibited to ALL my children. It's hard to do that for one--let alone three! PLEASE pray for these things for us as well. To trust in our awesome God and rely on Him day by day to complete the good work that was begun in us. Pray that we will become more Christlike.
Jacky, first off I love your girls' names! I am so excited for you leaving so soon. You are right these kids have been through a lot. But God called you to this because He knows you are more than ready and able to be there for all 3 of your girls with anything and everything you need. You can see God at work all through your adoption process. You are right where He wants you and He will help you through this. He is there with you during the good days and the hard days. God already knows who your daughters are and He is bringing you all together according to His perfect will. I do know how you feel though. I was thinking the other day about our two and how they may start grieving when they leave the orphanage. While being in a family is so much better than orphanage life they are still leaving behind everyone and everything they know. That has to be scary and sad to them at the same time it is happy and exciting that they will have a family. But I know that God will show us how to help them through any grieving they may have and everything will come together with time. It will be the same for you. Always remember God is right there beside you.
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